3 Mental Health Wake-Up Calls You Can’t Ignore
& how to make friends as an adult
This week I want to talk about three habits that impact our mental health in big ways, one that strengthens it, one that chips away at it, and one that’s often overlooked but deeply important.
But first, a quick life update.
We’re really starting to settle into San Diego. When my wife and I moved here, we knew only two people in the entire city. And I’ll be honest—starting over socially as an adult is no joke. Part of today’s newsletter touches on loneliness, and I want to share that I’ve felt it too. Moving to a new place can be exciting and hard at the same time. Making friends as an adult is tough. That’s the truth. But I’ve been trying.
Today, I joined a tennis drill group with total strangers. Last week, I played pickup soccer with people I’d never met. I found both through Meetup.com and Facebook groups. I even made a new friend at the gym. I’m putting myself out there, and I’m sharing this to encourage you to do the same. If you’ve been craving connection, this is your gentle push to take that first step. It might feel awkward at first, but it’s worth it.
I ask every one of my clients in my practice about loneliness. I ask if they have friends and if they have a support network. Because having just one or two people you can connect with makes a HUGE difference in our mental health.
Okay, let’s jump in:
1. The habit that strengthens your brain and mood: exercise
Exercise is one of the most reliable tools we have for mental health. Period.
Decades of research show that regular movement improves mood, reduces anxiety, and can be as effective as antidepressants for people with mild depression. It also boosts sleep, energy, and brain function by increasing blood flow and reducing inflammation. It triggers feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins—and some studies even suggest it promotes neurogenesis, the birth of new brain cells in the brain.
And the best part? You don’t need a perfect routine. A short daily walk counts.
For my patients who have fallen off the exercise train, I ask them to start with three days a week of walking. 15 or 20 minutes a day. When I see them again, inevitably they share that they feel better since starting this routine, and then they ramp it up to five days a week or more.
2. The habit that slowly chips away: endless scrolling
Short-form videos—Reels, TikToks, Shorts—are everywhere. But they’re also engineered to hijack your brain.
A growing body of research calls this pattern Short Video Addiction (SVA), and it’s linked to increased reward-seeking and decreased cognitive control. That means less focus and a higher risk of anxiety and depression—especially among younger adults whose brains are still developing.
And it’s not just about time lost. One study found that 1 in 5 TikTok videos contain significant misinformation, and many viewers don’t even realize it.
Here’s what I tell my patients:
There's nothing inherently wrong with scrolling. It can be a fun way to relax, learn something new, and engage with others. But when it becomes excessive and starts to creep into areas of your life like work, time spent with loved ones, etc - it might have transitioned from something fun, to something harmful.
Do you find yourself automatically opening a social media app and scrolling without even realizing you're doing it? A red flag.
Notice how you feel afterward. Anxious, foggy, insecure? That’s a red flag.
If you recognize that scrolling is a problem, here's the first thing you can do: Schedule your screen time, don’t let it creep into every free moment. Ask yourself, “how many minutes do I want to spend scrolling every day”. Then, you can actually go into the social media app itself and put a timer in. I think 20 minutes or 30 minutes is a great goal to start. Once you’ve hit the max time, no more scrolling for the day!
As someone who uses social media to educate, I live this tension daily. These platforms can be powerful, but they can also drain us. That’s why I’m working on moving more and scrolling less. Join me!
3. The silent threat to mental and physical health: loneliness
A new study just confirmed what many of us already feel: loneliness isn’t just hard—it’s harmful.
Researchers surveyed over 47,000 adults across the U.S. between 2016 and 2023. They found that people who always felt lonely were five times more likely to be depressed than those who never did. On average, they reported 20 mentally unhealthy days each month—compared to just 9.4 among people who never felt lonely.
The mental toll was especially high among younger adults. And older adults who felt lonely experienced more physically unhealthy days, likely due to age-related changes. But across all ages, the takeaway was clear: loneliness hurts.
What stood out to me was how consistent the findings were regardless of income, age, or background. Loneliness is a health issue, and it deserves attention.
So what can we do?
Even one connection makes a difference. A coffee chat. A walk with a neighbor. A short phone call. You don’t need ten friends. Two or three is a win. And if you’re starting over somewhere new, like I am, know that you’re not the only one.
Put yourself out there, gently, gradually, in whatever way feels doable for you. Because as humans, we need people. Not perfect friendships. Just real ones.
Final thoughts
Today’s message isn’t about perfection. It’s about small shifts.
A bit more movement.
A bit less mindless scrolling.
And a bit more intention in connecting with others.
You deserve to feel good in your mind and body. You deserve rest, movement, and real connection.
Sending you warmth and encouragement,
Dr. Goodman
My practice, Goodman Psychiatry, is officially open and accepting clients
I specialize in helping high-achievers find peace and balance. I treat depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, insomnia, and more using a blend of therapy, medication, and lifestyle support. A few quick notes:
I’m licensed in California and Florida (for now - New York is on the way!)
It’s a fee for service practice for full flexibility in care
Schedule a free 10 minute consultation with me below to learn more
Please share this post if you found it helpful!
And please leave a comment if you feel open to it, I try to respond to every one.
Disclaimer:
This newsletter is for informational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor or a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your health routine or addressing medical concerns.
This content does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. While I strive for accuracy, the information may not apply to your unique situation.
If you’re in crisis, please contact a healthcare provider or one of the crisis resources listed below. Your well-being is a priority.
Psychiatrists used to only push meds. Good to see you are pushing connection!
This is so helpful! I find that the older I get (I'm now 69 and still feel like I am in my 30s), the easier it is for me to step out of my comfort zone because I no longer worry about impressing others. I like to try new things because it makes me feel energized. Thank you for addressing loneliness.